Berry was awake from 2am to 4am last night. I do not know why. It was awful.
Nathan was on call again so it was just me, and I walked her around and around and around the house, patting her back and singing to her. I got her a bottle, found her bear, and tried lying on the couch with her. I talked on the phone to Dad in Australia (who helpfully pointed out how many people try for years and years and never get a baby) and then to my sister in South Africa (because she's sympathetic and entertaining, and excellent at not making me feel guilty – and because Berry often falls asleep when I'm on the phone, so it was worth a shot). Over and over Berry seemed to doze off, but no – the second I put her down she'd pop up, awake again.
Two. whole. hours.
By the end, the last time she called out from her mattress "Up Mama! Cuddle! In there!" (toddler-code for: Pick me up again and carry me around and around in the living room) I snapped and said, "Stop! Mummy's very cross with you!" She howled theatrically for about 30 seconds, then abruptly fell asleep.
So I was forced to lie awake staring at the ceiling, feeling terrible about myself and realising what a bad mother I am, et cetera.
You know: the usual.
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My daughter did that when she was about 1. She woke up about midnight and ran around the kitchen for about half an hour. Ran - like she was possessed by the devil.
ReplyDeleteAh, the good old days. What is it about children that makes us question our abilities so strongly? Sigh-h. Yeah, it happens to all parents. At least the ones who care.
ReplyDeleteHah! You sure are giving me something to look forward to when my time comes :) At least your family was available for you throughout the stress! Get some rest, you deserve it, and I bet being an awesome mother is super tiring!
ReplyDeleteThomas has done that to me as well - a few times - screaming hysterically and not waanting to stay in his cot. He did it for about two weeks when Daniel was just a baby...so in order not to wake one, I gave in and took the other downstairs where he was quite happy to play at 1am as I struggled to keep my eyes open! I have also on occasion come to the end of my rope and yelled at him to stop being silly...and felt guilty afterwards...it's human nature I guess.
ReplyDeleteYou must be feeling tired with the pregnancy and all - just do your best.
P.S. And I know there's nothing worse than being on your own during an episode like that!
I would just stay in my babys room with him while he played with his toys and I would end up asleep on the floor with him next to me before long.
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