Evans Family 2.0

I used to think it was a pretty odd decision, on my parents' part, to have five kids. Now that I have two of my own, I've changed my mind. They're officially insane.

I really have nothing to complain about; two kids makes an average family, and we're actually adjusting to this new life quite well. At home, Berry likes to kiss Kickbaby on the top of his head, stroke his arm, say "Are-you okaaaaay, little man?" and "Kickbaby hungry?" and generally mother-hen him in her own two-year-old way. She reads him books and draws lots of pictures of our new-improved family. At preschool she has photos of Kickbaby to show her teachers, and she likes to tell people about her little broy-er.

For his part, Kickbaby likes to sleep (it's still Week One, so I'm not assuming this will last) and eat and eat and eat and eat (this will last). He also likes to be carried around constantly and not be put down during his naps, thankyouverymuch.

Nathan and his dad have picked up the slack on paying attention to Berry while I'm pinned to the couch, and I've managed to persuade her that the reason I can't carry her around anymore is because I have a sore back – I showed her the band-aid left from my epidural as proof. That's one doctor's order that actually makes me a bit sad, despite all my complaints about how heavy Berry's getting. And despite the fact I have no free hands anyway.


I was lucky – so lucky – this time to have a perfectly smooth labor and delivery. As horrendously botched and traumatic as Berry's birth was, this was the other end of the spectrum. I love the Keesler Medical Center L&D department so much, I think someone should marry it.

I'm waking up with Kickbaby several times a night, as opposed to the hundreds (oh, I'm sure it was hundreds) of times I woke up each night with newborn Berry, and he's very easily settled. I'm not frightened of breaking the baby this time either (Berry was born five weeks too soon, weighed 4lbs 15oz, and had serious medical issues).

So all of this is making the transition to mother-of-two about as bump-free as it can be. I still have mind-wanderings in the middle of the night where I worry about how I'll share my attention between them, how I'll make them both feel loved enough and, to a lesser degree, how I'll handle working plus two kids. But since everyone else seems to have figured all this out, I'm pretty sure I'll get there too.

But when I extrapolate all this to five kids, I can't actually wrap my head around it. I'm deeply grateful for my brothers and sister, but my Mum and Dad were nuts.

So, note to all the grandparents: we're done. This is it. Enjoy.