Saturday 19 July 2008

Cold turkey


For the first two years of her life, Berry watched almost no television. When she turned two, I patted myself on the back for devotedly following those American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines – and then I dropped the ball.

I didn't drop it in a huge way – more a series of fumbles, really – but over time she acquired a taste for Dora The Explorer, Clifford The Big Red Dog, Blue's Clues, The Mickey Mouse Club House (she actually thinks Mickey's real name is Mickeymouseclubhouse), JoJo's Circus, Elmo (not Sesame Street, just Elmo), Little Einsteins and Curious George. She even liked My Friends Tigger and Pooh, much to my chagrin; I despise Disney's inane, dumbed-down version of Winnie-the-Pooh.

Almost all Berry's television fare was on PBS Kids (educating and enlightening, right?) except for What Not To Wear, which was entirely my fault. "I like her pretty dress, mum-mum," she'd say after the makeover, and I'd change the channel guiltily. Can I help it if I want Clinton Kelly to be my best friend?

Ok, probably.

She was also completely excited by the merchandising. Everywhere we went: "Oh! Dora!", "Ohhhh, Kigger-Pooh!", "Oh mum-mum, see that Mickeymouseclubhouse!" She wanted every item emblazoned with their images – beach towels, play-doh, shoes, placemats, colouring books. She'd even try for the banned Disney Princesses. I dodged indulgence by letting her "say hello" and then put them back on the shelf... a winner on the avoiding tantrums front, but it sure slowed down our shopping trips.

Two weeks ago she saw Dora, Nemo, Hello Kitty and Mickey Mouse in a single supermarket display. It stopped her in her tracks. "Oh!" she shouted, "My shows!"

In that moment, I realised exactly how far we'd slid down television's slippery slope.

I've always wanted my kids to have their childhoods filled with wild imaginings, inventive play, exciting books, hare-brained schemes and little adventures, the way mine was. My brothers, my sister and I had very few toys and even less TV – no tricks, nothing on a silver platter, my Dad would say. But we had a lot of wide-open spaces, unscheduled afternoons, and parents who were pretty sure we'd survive if we fell out of trees ... the perfect environment for imagination to take root. I knew it would be harder for Berry to need her imagination, surrounded as she is by toys and activities, and doting grandparents ready to make her playroom overflow at each visit. So why was I making it even harder for her, by giving in on the TV front?

Over the past ten days, I've gradually deleted almost every show from our DVR. I've offered more book-reading, more tea parties, more paints, more tricycle rides, more playing with her wooden tools. When there's TV, we only watch Jon & Kate Plus Eight (because it's about kids her own age, and it never gives her that glazed look) or Charlie & Lola (because it's clever, and they have British accents... seriously, that's why).

Berry's let go of "her shows" much more easily than I expected. This probably has a lot to do with the fact that my Mum, who is the most meant-to-be-a-brilliant-grandma person I've ever known, is here entertaining and adoring her... but whatever, I'm grateful for an easy start to the transition.

I know this not-much-TV policy is going to take real long-term effort, and probably more tea parties than I'll care to have – but I'm pretty determined. Because in the end, I think allowing her imagination room to grow is one of the best gifts I can give her.

.

15 comments:

  1. I have a two year old too and am having the same thoughts as you about tv!!!

    My little one is now only watching In the Night Garden, Charlie and Lola and Pingu.

    There's an article in Selvedge magazine about Lauren Childs an it shows how she scans in vintage fabric to make Lola's dresses - very cute.

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  2. Good for you...I'm not at that point yet. I was diligent, like you, in the beginning but slowly fell off the wagon now that he's 4. I'm lucky enough that he's content in drawing or coloring for hours so I try to limit TV to the Early Morning hours while I get some housework done. Then, it's off to do errand and play until Daddy gets home and then he takes over for a bit. I still feel guilty though for those few hours!

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  3. Right – I haven't yet figured out a way to get the housework done without letting the TV "babysit" for a little while. Otherwise I'd achieve exactly nothing.

    That's where the Charlie & Lola and Jon & Kate episodes kick in...

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  4. Good for you! I try & do the same with my five year old~ I know she enjoys playing with play-dough or having a book read to her much better than staring at the T.V.
    There are those times when you're trying to fit in all the things you need to get done & it comes in handy. My favorite is Charlie & Lola too~ I'm not a fan of Cartoons, but I ♥ watching that show myself :)

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  5. Good for you! I don't have kids yet but hope to limit their TV watching... now if only I could do the same for myself!

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  6. Sniff sniff, my kids grew up so fast. My daughter will be 11 next week. She watches John and Kate plus 8.

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  7. I dont have any children but work in a nursery and I can sympathise fully, very difficult to keep those growing minds occupied and carry out your daily schedule in this modern day. Perhaps buy educational dvd's or pre record your selected programmes (try to edit the commercials - this is the worst all the marketing should be banned on kids tv, time consuming though I know). But your doing a grand job dont feel guilty Im sure with a mum like you she ll grow up into a very creative young lady.

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  8. We were not great t.v. watchers..But I have to admit, I love Winnie the Pooh...Of course my girls are grown now, but I kind of sold the grandchildren on Pooh..

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  9. great story! I hope when I have children I can be that vigilent with the tv...for the sake of their imaginations definately!

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  10. good for you... i've got two four year olds and the same thing happened - great for the first couple of years then - oops! i have to admit my girls are both sat here now in front of the telly but we have just had two telly free days in a row so i kind of made the excuse to myself that it was ok! but its a gorgeous day outside and is me sitting looking at blogs more important than getting them out there - i think we both know the answers to that one ;) so i'm off now to entertain! thanks for reminding me what i really should be doing and good luck for your telly free days too! :)

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  11. forgot to say - your artworks beautiful so i'm just going to heart your shop before we go so i can find you later! :) x

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  12. Ive told my best friend (who has two kids) that when I have kids I am not going to let them watch tv. She said, "well, when you have kids you'll change your mind."

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  13. I think more parents should do this. Honestly, I respect your decision a lot! She'll probably thank you for it later on.

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  14. I love your shock value photo. I see you have a dream of Italy. My blog is all about my life in Italy. Stop by. Im on Etsy too.
    www.viapecetto.blogspot.com

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  15. Excellent post. I am only just thinking about having kids, it's great to hear a real story about this. I have no intention of using rubbish TV to babysit my wee ones when they do arrive. Glad to know you can turn it around too. Thanks!

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